What? You want to know things about me? You freak. I’ll humour you all the same, though.

Before I start, no I’m not that moot. If you had to ask that question you already know who I mean. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, well… thats for the best.

This particular moot works in a DIY store somwhere in the middle of the UK, and despises it. Brilliantly he hasn’t found anywhere else yet, but not for want of looking. What with the recent flooding around the UK, he was secretly hoping he’d turn up to work and find the place under 4 feet of water. What might have been!

In between misanthropy and total apathy, moot spends most of his time ridiculing the almost sentient pond life which masquerades as customers, and constantly wishing he could be allowed to punch people out who don’t satisfy his view of the ideal customer. For the record, the ideal customer comes complete with a full set of manners and a bottomless wallet of £5 notes and various denominations of change.

At any other time moot can either be found doing nothing particularly important, or melting his computer into molten slag by attempting to produce images that can only be described as “art” with varying degrees of success, and consistency. Usually, this factors on how quickly an egg can be fried on the CPU.

While not spraying the interior of his computer with a fire extinguisher – during photoshopping or otherwise – moot is working on a comic project featuring a whole bunch of original characters, some complete with batshit psionic powers and its awesome and everything. There are also conspiracies and deadly man-made plagues. Also the main villainess is pink and wears a pretty bow!

At the times when moot is doing none of the above, he is usually pissing away hours playing some game or other. Like he has nothing better to.

At any other spare moment moot is updating a blog with an “About” page that makes him sound a lot more interesting than he really is, because writing in the third person just makes people sound so much more… not pointless? moot doesn’t know for a fact, but will continue to do it for the forseeable future, or at least until the end of this of ego-stroking biography. Whichever comes sooner.

The location of the aforementioned blog is a secret, unless of course you happen to be reading it right now. That is of course highly unlikely.